Music You Should Hear January 20 2024

one of the kids i work with uses they/them pronouns. call them "sam". here's some things theyve said since i started.

one day, randomly out of the blue, sam came up to me during choice time and said "if someone insults you, you cannot kill them immediately. you have to challenge them to a duel first." a few days later at recess, they heard a rumor that a second grader had said "first grade sucks", and proceeded to challenge them to duel to "defend first grade's honor." the second grader said "maybe" and walked away. sam rushed them and attempted to wrestle. both kids had to talk to the LS head (principal basically) after that. [side note that I heard about this secondhand, and before i did, i actually heard about the second grader's comment from another girl. she told me what the kid had said, and looking frustrated, she said "i want to make a sign!" and I said what sign do you want to make? and she said "well, he said 'first grade sucks', so i want to make a big sign that says 'first grade matters...'"]

before winter break we had guardians come of differing faiths to talk to the kids about the different cultural traditions around winter holidays. one family talked about diwali, and a couple families came together to talk about hannukah. in those two cases the sharing was limited to specific traditions that families celebrating may observe; for instance the parents that talked about hannukah talked about the menorah, latkes, the dreidel & gelt, etc. then we had a mom come in to talk about christmas. the book she brought to read was the exact biblical account of the nativity, like in verse, with children's illustrations. she talked about who jesus was and what christians believe about him. luisa and i were giving each other looks. when she finished, she asked if anyone had questions. in the front row, sam immediately raised their hand. the mom called on them, and sam blurted "i just wanted to say the jesus was NOT a god." there was a deafening silence. the mom started "well, yeah, you know, some people don't--" and sam kept going "jesus was NOT a god. but he was a very interesting person who lived a long time ago. but he was NOT a god."

our building is rather mazelike, and when i was newer, i relied on the kids to help me find the classrooms for music and art, which are upstairs. at the same time, i mostly walked backwards so i could keep an eye on everyone (although i must disclaim this is not actually the best practice), and so i started asking the line leader to "be my eyes and ears" and tell me if i was going to walk into something. now, every time we walk somewhere in a line, sam runs to the front of the line, grabs my hands, and yells "i'll be your eyes and ears!" if it were any other kid, the others would complain about cutting, but they're used to sam.

at morning meeting, i go down the list of names of students while they sit on the carpet and say "good morning [name]!" and each kid responds "good morning wreo!" to indicate that theyre present. sometimes kids just need to be different. one always makes a loud squawking noise for instance. one day i got to sam on the list and they paused and said "konichiwa!" i said "oh, konichiwa, sam! everyone, sam just said "hello" in japanese! konichiwa means hello in japanese!" then i moved on. a few names later a kid by my leg tapped me and said wreo, sam's crying... and i looked up and sam was crying. i asked sam what was wrong and sam wailed "i'm mad because you told everybody what it meant!" my lead teacher ("luisa") helped them calm down by taking them to a marble run outside the LS head's office. when they came back they said sorry, it being clear that luisa had told them to do so. i said it was okay and that i was sorry too. then i taught them word "nani", which they wandered off mumbling to themselves repeatedly. they cried three more times that day. once was because a girl stepped on their hand by accident. she said sorry sam!! right away; she is the sweetest little girl ever tbqh. sam rolled away and sobbed "i do NOT accept your apology because it was NOT a complete apology!!!" luisa emailed their mom about it later and she emailed back that sam had had a big cinnamon roll for breakfast and was probably on a sugar comedown.

at the end of the day the kids who don't go to aftercare wait for their teachers to recieve text signals from greeters that their guardian is there to get them. in the meantime, we play on the yard. one day luisa was there with me and we were standing with sam and luisa said wreo, did you know that sam's favorite thing is getting dipped? sam lit up with excitement and said yeah! and i was like what do you mean dipped? and luisa proceeded to take both of sam's hands in one of hers, brace sam's back with her other hand, and carefully lower them in a dip. sam jumped up, thrilled, ran over to me, stretched out their hands, and said "dip me one hundred times!"

okay intermission: this one was a different kid named "rose" who is also really funny. last week was her turn to be the "star of the week" which for those unfamiliar is the modernized equity-ified version of show and tell. as part of star of the week, we take a picture of the kid and put it in a special spot on the wall. i went outside with rose and took a few photos of her; in one she's smiling with teeth, and another without. she was adorable. i showed them to her and asked her which one she wanted teeth or no teeth, and she said no teeth! and i took the picture phone back inside, gave it back to luisa to transfer the pic, and told her she wanted the one with no teeth. luisa looked and saw the one with teeth, and said "rose! this one is so cute, why don't you want the one with teeth?" and rose came over and, stuttering and stopping herself in that 7-y/o way, very seriously said that the reason she didn't want the one with teeth was because if an ape saw it, would think she wanted to fight it and maybe it would attack. luisa, baffled and thinking rose was just being silly, said "an ape?? there's no apes here! there's no apes in san francisco!" and rose, still deadly serious, looked down and said "there are in the zoo.."

our school teaches a few basic ASL signs for convenience, such as the signs for "water" and "toilet" for when kids need water or the toilet. one time, at the end of the day, sam walked over to where i sitting in my big comfy spinny chair and fell over into my lap. they smiled and said youre a she-and-they! me toooooooo! and did the sign for "me too"/"same" (which is making the sign for the letter Y, pointing your pinky at the other person and your thumb at yourself, and shaking your hand back and forth). later, they clarified that while they're OKAY with she, they PREFER they.

sam's sibling is in the fourth grade, and also uses they/them. they're really in DnD. i saw them come to school in a d20 tshirt once. sam is also really into DnD. every choice time lately they make elaborate paper swords, with little tubes for a hilts and tape for padding on the grip and feathers coming out of the pommel. they bring the swords to me, swing them near me (definitely never AT me), and say "pshhh! my frost sword just did a googleplex damage to you!" and i'll make a halfhearted attempt: "aha, you forgot i'm wearing magic resistant-armor!" and they say something like "my sword has armor piercing!!" at which point i'll be defeat and melt away into ash or whatever. recently luisa brought in a little bin of plastic gems with adhesive backs. sam always puts a couple on their swords. one day the time came for choice time to end, and sam ran over to me and said wreo? and i said yes sam? and they paused. and said "can i have gems!" and i said not right now sam, it's time to clean up! and sam's face fell. they got a little frown that's a telltalle sign theyre about to cry, and they said "no i need gems!" and i said "how about we can get some after closing circle?" and they said "NO i need them right now!" and i said why do you need them right now? and they got really quiet and paused again. then, really quietly, they said "it's not magical without the gems..."

one time after that, sam stuck a yellow teardrop-shaped gem on their forehead and wore it all day. they brought it home and came back in the morning still wearing it. halfway through the day, they lost it. they lay in a despairing heap in the reading nook in the back of the classroom where all the cushion are and i tried to talk them into coming to sit with the rest of the class on the rug. they were firm "i'm not leaving without it!!" when i suggested that we could get a new gem, and that this gem was probably off on a new adventure and we needed to let it be free, they started crying. luisa came over and gave me a couple marbles with which to do the marble run. sam wasn't interested. eventually luisa swapped out with me and i led the class while she took sam outside. she's much better than me at bringing the right sort of firmness; it's the sort of thing that i feel keeps me from really being fully suited to teaching young kids. the next day, sam came wearing a bulky ring on their thumb made of model magic, with what seemed to be a mancala stone embedded in it. this was sam's magical ring. about halfway through the day, they reported they had lost it. in that moment i felt like i was on candid camera or some shit. we walked around to all the places our class had been looking for it, but all the while i knew that if a teacher found a random piece of model magic on the ground, that shit is going in the trash. when we went to the art room, the LS art teacher (who is rly mean i don't like her) asked us what we were doing there, and i said "we're on a quest!" this made sam excited. we didn't find the ring. the one place we didn't look was the nurse's office, because she was in a meeting and the door was locked. sam was holding it together and played at lunch recess as normal. at third recess (yes we have three recesses), sam asked if they could go to the nurse's to continue the quest. i said sure. they came back later. i held my breath. they came up to me and said, glumly "wreo, my quest failed." i said i was sorry. they wandered off. but they didn't cry. (and later they were sitting with the other 1st grade lead teacher "charlie", and she waved me over and said sam show wreo! and beaming, sam held up their ring.)

we have a program where guardians of kids in our class sign up to come in on a weekly basis and read stories for the kids. we call it "secret reader" because none of the kids know what the signup order is, or when their guardian will come. last week sam's parents came and they read several books. two of them were whimsical takeoffs of classic fairytales where the characters argue with the narrator over what should happen in the story. sam's mother held the book for most of the time, and every few minutes, sam would interrupt and insist that sam's mother read the book by first, holding it so that only she and sam could see it, reading the words out loud, and only then turning the book around to reveal the images to the rest of the class.

at that same secret reader, another book was about "invisible things" like emotions, concepts, senses, etc. On one page, the book listed a bunch of "good" emotions like happiness, love, gratitude, contentment, etc. when they got to hope, sam said solemnly "we might not always welcome hope."

🔲🔳