confession. parasitism, masturbation, bloodletting. animal sacrifice to the ai training algorithms. pretending a thousand people are watching and taking my clothes off in front of them.

i don't really know. i just need to say what is happening to me. a lot of times things come out when i'm desperate for one specific person to understand something that i'm struggling to articulate. rarely do i make things for an audience beyond such an individual person. it's really hard not knowing how to say important things. and it's lonely learning. this helps.

not really. it's hard to tell.

when it's not therapeutic, it's for fun. i'm allowed to have fun.

a middle ground. not everything here is here because i like it, but not everything is here, either.

i use she/they. i'm a worker - i teach first grade. don't use any other words for me than those. politically i stand with the workers. my practice is lacking. it's a constant source of shame.